


The Unimaginable

by Dianalynn1138



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Forgiveness, Found Family, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25336645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dianalynn1138/pseuds/Dianalynn1138
Summary: Their bodies may have healed but the wounds inside take longer to do so. Taken in by Hux and Rose, Phasma spends her days caring for the couple's three children and has never felt closer to peace then she does while on the outter-rim planet with those she cares for.
Relationships: GingerRose, Phasma/Hux Friendship
Comments: 17
Kudos: 39





	The Unimaginable

**Author's Note:**

> This story is about forgiveness. Forgiveness from others as well as forgiveness towards oneself. This is probably the most cathartic work I have ever done and I hope you find it as beautiful as I do. 
> 
> I want to thank my two beautiful Betas for reading over this. Brit, you have helped me through this and given me the courage to write it. 
> 
> and Marie (Dyadwars) for being my fello Phasma stan!!!!!

_Captain Phasma was falling._

_The bright bursts of light from the explosions happening around her were visible through the hole in her helmet; the heat from the fires surrounding her and the screams of her troopers ringing in her ear causing even more confusion as her body came to an abrupt stop; the metal of her armor protecting her from the jagged shards of the broken ship that she was now laying on._

_Taking in shallow gulps of air as she looked up and saw the cause of her fall, the traitor who had left her and his fellow troopers to fight for the Resistance standing over her with a sneer on his face._

_“Rebel scum.”_

Phasma woke with a jolt, heart racing, her breathing erratic as she tried to get control of herself. Her surroundings slowly came into focus as she brushed damp hair off of her sweat drenched face. Shifting in the bed, Phasma put her feet on the worn rug that covered the stone floor of her bedroom, grounding herself in the feel of the soft worn-down pile against her tired feet. 

For years, Phasma had worn supportive boots that were molded to her feet perfectly, cushioning and supporting her so she would be able to stand and march for hours on end, sometimes for days. But since being left for dead seven years ago, the feeling of having constrictive shoes on felt almost foreign to Phasma, the same with tight clothing and anything that went on her head; one of the few things she was able to stand was a straw hat to cover her fair skin from the two harsh noon day suns. 

Phasma looked at the chronometer that sat on her bedside table and sighed at the time. Since coming to this planet, she had fallen into a rhythm, a holdover from her time in the Order and something she would probably never escape. Every day Phasma woke up at the same time, give or take a minute; she would rise out of bed when the suns were just about to peak from behind the large mountain that loomed in the distance, and today was no different. 

Fully awake now, Phasma showered taken and fully dressed in a drape of muslin cloth which hung over leather leggings and cinched with a belt; she looked at herself in a small mirror and began brushing out her now waist long blond hair. Even before she had been in the Order, Phasma had kept her hair short, almost shorn close to the scalp for comfort and ease of being at war. But in the years following her release from the medical unit at a hidden rebel base, thanks to Hux and his wife, Rose, Phasma had let her hair grow. 

It had taken some time to get used to having hair longer than a few inches from her scalp but after a while the long hair and bare feet became a way of reminding herself that she was no longer a war. With the long tresses platted into a thick braid which cascaded down her shoulder, Phasma slipped her feet into a pair of moccasins and walked out of the small cottage at the edge of the property.

The short stone path which connected her small cottage to the larger house where the family lived was well worn and old; the river stones pressed deep into the soft earth and smoothed over years of use. The house itself was just as old, if not more so than the path; the limestone walls weathered and aged giving the house a lived-in feeling. 

When the three of them came to this planet, with its lush green terraform each had felt safe and comfortable. It didn’t take long for them to find the perfect place to settle down, it was like the house called to them; abandoned and in need of love and laughter, something all three of them desired as well.

Rose had just learned she was pregnant with their first child and wanted to find a place to live and grow their family. Hux, wanting to make his wife happy, wanted nothing more than find a place where he could protect his growing family. Phasma, on the other hand, noticed the house nor the plane was fortified enough and worried for the safety of the child about to be born. But over time Phasma had calmed somewhat, especially once she and Hux had placed sensors around the property which would alert them of any unwanted guests.

Walking towards the main house, Phasma stopped under a fruit tree, reaching up and grabbing three of the bright orange globes which hung there, ripe and sweet; the perfect addition to a breakfast she knew was being prepared inside. 

As the leader of the Trooper program, Phasma had grown accustomed to the sound of children in large groups. But never did she hear them laugh; their training was so strong they were only allowed to think of one thing: the war there were preparing to fight. She would hear laugher and quiet conversations on ships between cadets or officers, but the sound always abruptly stopped whenever she came into view. Something that, until recently, she hadn’t cared about. But hearing the laughter of the children inside the house made her grieve for the lack of joy those children had grown up under her control.

“PHANCY!”

A children’s chorus greeted Phasma as the two girls shouted her nickname enthusiastically when she walked through the door into the kitchen and dining area of the house. 

It didn’t take long for Hux and Rose to grow their family even more after settling in the old house. The couple now had three children, Paige, Mai and the baby Eli. Phasma had been honored to be present for each of the births.

When Paige was learning to speak, she couldn’t say Phasma’s name properly, having a hard time with _EM_ sound in the middle of her name. Paige, being the creative sort began calling her “Phancy” instead. It didn’t matter that Paige could now pronounce her name correctly, Phasma wouldn’t trade the nickname for the world now that she got to hear it from both Paige and her younger sister Mai; the two girls, along with their infant brother Eli, were Phasma’s life.

“Good morning, girls,” Phasma crouched down in front of them, handing each a fruit. “I hope you slept well, and you are ready for whatever adventures the day will bring us!”

Both girls nodded energetically, taking the fruit then headed back into the kitchen where their mother was. In the years of being here, Phasma had to deal with a great many things: avoiding becoming a burden on Hux, and his family was the biggest one to overcome. But as each child came along, Phasma found herself feeling more connected to the place she had been taken in, become part of that family.

“Good morning, Phasma!” Rose’s happy voice called from the kitchen as Hux came into view holding a small child cradled in one arm; Eli had just learned how to hold his own head up and was the happiest baby Phasma had ever met.

“Good morning, Rose,” Phasma answered. “Is there anything I can help with?” She knew the answer would be no, the conversation being the same every morning, but she liked to ask it any way. 

“No, I think we have it covered.” Rose walked into the dining area, a bowl in each hand as the two girls trailed behind, exact copies of their mother, only with dark hazel eyes with flecks of gold and green sprinkled in the brown.

The girls helped set the table and then the five of them gathered around, Rose taking Eli from Hux to place in the sling she wore across her body; the baby already sleeping against his mother’s chest safe and warm. Phasma knew that child would never know a day of pain or suffering at the hands of another person if that woman had anything to say about it.

They lived a very simple life on this planet, far away from the rest of the galaxy and the trappings of mechanized life; a drastic change from the war ships with droids capable of doing everything a person could need. But this was the reason they had chosen this planet, and it allowed them all the freedom to heal the way each of them needed in the quiet solitude of the agrarian planet.

In the beginning, the silence had frightened Phasma, fearing it was just the quiet before the storm. Phasma was convinced she and Hux would be captured by the new governmental body and taken away, executed for crimes against the galaxy. But as the years went by, those moments of panic were fewer in occurrence, and Phasma was able to allow herself a bit of reflection on her past actions that had brought her to this moment. 

Phamsa’s favorite part of her day was when she got to play with the girls; after their lessons with Rose, the girls would join Phasma in the orchard, caring for the trees, harvesting the fruit that had fallen to the ground over night as well as the ones heavy on the branches. The three would sing the songs Rose had taught them as they washed and separated the fruits into baskets to either be eaten fresh, made into sweet cakes and jams or sold at the market at the end of the week. 

The girls would ask her to tell them stories about her life before the war and her friendship with their parents. But the story they loved most of all was when she would tell them the story of how their parents met always leaving out the attempted execution and the fact that Hux fell in love with Rose the moment her teeth bit down on his finger.

“Please, Phancy,” Mai would plead at least once a day. “Please tell us how Mommy and Daddy met again.”

“And don’t leave any of the spy stuff out. That’s the best part.” Paige would chime in wanting to hear the story for the millionth time.

“I have told you that story so many times!” Phasma would always counter to the girls’ toothy grins looking up at them as she helped get them into bed. “I think you could tell ME that story now.” The truth was, she would do anything they wished; she was putty in their hands.

“Please, Phancy? We won’t ask again, we promise.” Mai begged one more time.

“You mean you won’t ask again until tomorrow night, right?” Phasma said as she pulled the covers up under Mai’s chin, leaning in to kiss her forehead.

“Well, yeah.” Mai said with a small giggle.

“Oh alright.” Phasma said on a playful exasperated sigh.

“A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, your Daddy saw your Mommy for the first time…”

Every day had been like this since coming to this planet, the days and nights had been relatively the same; small changes like the addition of children and the crops of fruit trees in the orchards and the grain in the fields kept life interesting. Before Paige had been born, Phasma had made plans to leave, go off and explore the universe on her own. But the moment she held that little girl in her arms Phasma knew she was never leaving.

But there were times, like now, when she looked up into the night’s sky, the three moons so close to the planet but the pinpricks of light that dotted the blackness of space, Phasma heard the call to explore again.

Before she had been Captain Phasma, she was just Phasma, sister of the man who was called king of her clan on her home planet of Parnassos and leader of the warriors who protected their clan and the area on which they lived. They had no technology to speak of and it wasn’t until she met a group of outsiders lead by Hux’s father, Brendol that she even thought about leaving the safety of her family group. Where she came from, you didn’t leave your clan, it was suicide to do so. But once on the ship with the elder Hux, she knew there was so much more for her to explore. 

“I thought I’d find you out here.”

Hux’s voice came from behind where Phasma was seated in the small open field. 

“Were you looking for me?” Phasma asked as she watched Hux sit next to her, stretching his long legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankles and leaning back on his hands. It wasn’t the first time she had seen him relax like this. Before arriving at this planet, Phasma didn’t know what it meant to relax; the act totally foreign to her. She knew it had been the same for Hux as well. But to look at the man, stretched out in a field under the night’s sky one would never know the past he had had.

“No, just thought I’d find you here.” Phasma noticed Hux look in her direction then back up to the sky. “Are you doing alright?”

Phasma moved to place herself in the same position as Hux and took a deep and relaxing breath.

“I am fine Hux, you do not have to worry about me.” The answer her typical response to Hux’s question when he checked in on her.

“But?” He countered.

“But… Do you ever wonder about the ones who didn’t make it?” She saw Hux stiffen slightly next to her.

“Phasma, you can’t think like that.”

“I do not wish to be maudlin; I am not sad or anxious,” she said with a sad smile. “I can remember each of my last battalion’s call numbers. Thirty-five boys and girls prepared to fight for the cause.”

Phasma sat up, turning towards Hux.

“I can’t help but think of Paige, Mai and Eli being a part of the nameless recruits in my care. And I know they will never know the same indoctrination as with FN-2187-”

“Don’t let Rose hear you say that.” Hux quickly interjected.

“Forgive me- Finn.” she corrected herself with a sad smile knowing he had never known a name before the fighter pilot had given him one. The pain and anger she held for the former trooper had diminished to a simmer where Finn was concerned. 

“We were at War, Phasma. A war that neither of us had any real say in how it was fought, only that we needed to fight it. I wanted change, you wanted a place where you would be able to help people and be recognized for your leadership talents. We were both wrong and right at the same time.”

Hux spoke in a calm and measured way and Phasma knew these were the words Rose had used to help him through his transition.

“I helped steal children as young as Mai, Hux. I have to live with that. I do live with that.” Phasma looked away from Hux then; the weight of the statement pressing down on them. He too had this hanging over his head. The program inherited from his father, a lasting legacy from the elder Hux.

“You aren’t thinking of leaving again, are you?” After long, quiet moments Hux sat up and faced Phasma, worry on his face.

“Maybe I should.”

The answer was just as straightforward as the question had been. “Maybe it’s time to let you and Rose have a quiet family without me in the way.”

Hux moved slightly to kneel in front of her, green eyes meeting steel blue.

“I am not going to tell you to stay. I would never take that choice away from you. But please know that if you left, this family wouldn’t be a family. Rose and the girls would be devastated and I,” his face softened when he mentioned his own feelings. “I would be without the only true friend I’ve ever had.”

Phasma took his words to heart and it took all her military training and hard-won self-preservation not to cry at the sudden, overwhelming emotion. 

For no more than a split second, Phasma thought about what she would do if she did chose to leave. Alone in the universe for the first time in her life, she would be free to make her own choices and live as she saw fit. But that was only a thought. Leaving Hux, Rose and the children would be no life at all; the silence of space, deafening. 

“Not to worry, Hux,” the words were a whisper between close friends. “I’m not going anywhere.”

With a smile on his face, Hux stood up, holding out his hand for her. Phasma took his offered hand and allowed him to pull her up from her seated position. But Hux didn’t release her hand right away as she had expected. Instead, he pulled her into his own body, wrapping his arms around her and hugged her tight. 

Unsure at what to do, she returned the embrace, wrapping her arms around him as well.

“You have learned some terrible habits from that wife of yours.” Hux’s chuckle was enough to show Phasma she was free to tighten her hold on him, liking the way his hug comforted her and letting the safety of his hold flood her senses.

“I know,” he tightened his own hold on his friend.

“Alright, you two,” Phasma heard Rose call from the house. “I have a fresh casket of whiskey and three glasses with our names on it! Get inside before I drink it all myself.”

Hux and Phasma stood in each other’s embrace for a heartbeat longer before separating and turning towards the house. They had but a few hours before they would have to start their day over again, and Phasma was comforted to know she would be able to do so as a family.


End file.
